According to stand-up comedian Michael McIntyre posh people can substitute any word in the English language to mean drunk. Hence 'gazeboed'; it could also be 'car parked', 'trampolined', 'pajamaed' or 'paninied'. I'm not actually drunk but I'm wearing the tee-shirt I got last night when I went to his live show at the O2 arena.

The first time I saw Michael McIntyre perform was in an eight minute segment at The Royal Variety Performance in 2006. I was in stitches for the whole sequence; from the fear of not being able to remember his chip and pin to the odd walks we adopt when trying on shoes or walking through a metal detector. He's one of those people who observes the little things in life that we're all to busy to notice but the moment he brings it up you relate to every single detail.

The first time I saw him live was at the Hammersmith Apollo in September 2008, we were there when they filmed for his DVD release, the fastest selling stand-up DVD ever. That was an evening of anecdotes about 'man drawers' (the place where half dead batteries, out of circulation currency, older model mobile phones, takeaway menus and the measuring tape live), various methods to induce labour (herbal remedies favoured by the women, curry and sex favoured by the men, and the true properties of ingesting sperm), and why when we go on holiday do we turn off every appliance in the house except the fridge? Why do we trust the fridge?

Last night he performed for an audience of 16, 000, it was one of the extra dates that had to be added by popular demand. We booked the tickets months ago, when it seemed like forever until the performance. But it was well worth the wait. Right now I don't recall too many details of the topics, but I do remember that I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. There was definitely something about mens changing rooms at the gym, a hatred of Italian waiters flirting with his wife using a big pepper mill, a hypothetical debate between various herbs and spices about why the salt and pepper are so special, and an observation that playing snooker looks like you're tossing off an invisible man standing behind you.

The DVD is released in a couple of weeks, I think I'll go pre-order my copy now. See if we can make this DVD sell faster than the last one.

Michael McIntyre 'Live At The Apollo':
 

I love going to Sci-Fi and Fantasy memorabilia fairs. With a fistful of cash and a shopping list of needed trading cards, desired DVDs, craved after comics, obsessed about paraphernalia and the occasional wanted autograph just watch me go.

Some of my favourite moments have included meeting Carrie Fisher and Karen Allen; Harrison Ford's leading ladies for Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Catching up with Deep Space Nine's Chase Masterson, who I'd met a few years before and who threw herself across the table to hug me when she saw me. And I always enjoy being harassed by Stormtroopers from the 501st Legion, I just LOVE Stormtroopers.

There's always the chance for me to expand my collection of novelty Monopoly sets; I have a Lord of The Rings set, an Indiana Jones set, a Pirates of The Caribbean and a Las Vegas set amongst others. At each event I like to get another of the replica Harry Potter wands; to date I have Harry's, Ron's, Hermione's and Sirius wands. And then there's the impulse purchases that once you get them home you can't remember why you wanted it in the first place; what exactly am I ever going to do with those Xena and Babylon 5 collectible card games... I have no idea how you play it!

So when we found out that it was Expo 16 at the weekend, with the promise of all things film, television and game goodness, Dean, Katie and I decided to head over to Docklands and have a look. We knew that there was going to be some Anime there but panels with True Blood, Merlin and Star Trek gave us some hope that it would be a 50/50 split. Er, no. It was probably closer to 60=Anime, 30=Gaming and 10=Sci-Fi.

The smattering of sci-fi/fantasy/television/film memorabilia wasn't really worth the entry price I'd paid. But determined to get something out of the day I got autograph tickets for Terry Farrell and Nicole DeBoer, the two actresses who played the character of Dax in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Terry was the reason Katie had got out of bed that morning, and I have adored Nicole since I met her back in 1999 (at the same event where I met Chase).

After their little Q&A session on stage they got down to the signing. Well Nicole was ready, Terry was still trying to get back from the stage, but that gave me a few more minutes with Nicole. As I walked towards her she offered me a smile:

ME: Does that smile mean you vaguely remember me?
NICOLE: I signed your stomach once, of course I remember you. In fact about 20 minutes ago I was asked what was the strangest thing I'd ever signed and I remembered that.

We chatted for a little bit longer, which unearthed the memory of singing karaoke together ('Spice Up Your Life'), and then Terry arrived at the table and it was time to move on.

This was Katie's moment, so other than saying 'Hi' I let Katie do the talking and after getting her personalised autograph they had a giggle moment together.

KATIE: Thank you.
TERRY: You're welcome.
KATIE: Thank you so much.
TERRY: You're welcome so much.

Those few moments made the early morning, the entry fee and the endless queues worth it.

However, I still had to go to the nearest HMV and buy 'Prison Break: The Complete Series' just so I had something to play with when I got home.

(Oh... and what's with the 'Free Hugz' placards that all the Anime kids were wearing?)

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Had some time on my hands over the weekend, so couldn't resist messing around with some captions.

Managed to not upload the new ones from 'Vick's Chip' with the last batch so here they are now.

Here they are: pics.livejournal.com/masque101/pic/000cgx2a/g21
 

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I spent an entire hour today just sitting on a wooden bench in the Victoria Embankment Gardens. I was wasting time, so I found the nearest place of calm and simply stopped. I could hear the traffic rushing by on the Victoria Embankment, I could feel the trains from the District and Circle lines rumbling along beneath the ground, but with the grass and the trees and the occasional white cloud in an otherwise blue sky I had found a little oasis.

I just took some time to enjoy the unexpected warm weather, to observe the tourists writing postcards, businessmen avoiding the office, couples looking for an escape. Some time to reflect on life, love, and the fact that the train I was on yesterday evening caught fire!

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Song/Artist: 'TSCC Opening Titles' by Bear McCreay

Fandom/Pairing: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Sarah/Cameron

Vidder: Masque101

 

The boredom of waiting for season two to be released on DVD proved too much.

So here's some more innuendo, wild interpretation and a little bit of cuteness.

First of the new: pics.livejournal.com/masque101/pic/000691k2/g21

 

 

The August Bank Holiday – usually it’s just another day off work to lounge around and do nothing. But not this year, this year we have decided to participate in a time honoured tradition of the Bank Holiday – The Fun Fair.

Deciding to make a day of it we headed to Greenwich for brunch, looked around the local markets before seeking shelter from the mild temperature in the nearest pub. We managed to catch the Closing Ceremony of the Bejing Olympics with the sound muted allowing us to incorporate our own witty commentary. ‘He could have at least tucked his shirt in’, ‘I bet that football will be on Ebay by tomorrow’, okay so it wasn’t that witty.

After refreshment we took a slow stroll through Greenwich Park, slow because it’s uphill all the way. We stopped at the Greenwich Observatory to admire the city view from the home of Greenwich Mean Time. All roads may lead to Rome but Greenwich is the centre of the time/space continuum. Out the other side of the park is Blackheath where the bodies of the Black Death victims are supposedly buried in a mass grave, but today it plays host to the Fun Fair.

We made a couple of laps of the fairground, resisting the cries of ‘try your luck’, ‘come and have a go’ and ‘a prize every time’. I eventually caved when somebody brandished a fishing rod before me and I hooked a duck that won me a teddy bear. Katie won a similar prize but I knew where she really wanted to ‘try her luck’… the shooting range. Knock down seven targets with seven shots to win a prize. Taking up her pellet gun Katie took aim. I am equal parts alarmed and in awe that she knocked down all seven in seven on her first attempt. (Note to self: keep Katie away from Daddy’s shot guns.)

Naomi and I decided to take a gentle ride on the Merry Go Round. As a fan of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit I am happy to say I rode a horse named Olivia. Why is it that despite the fact that Naomi is 33 and I’m 30 and we understand the logistics of a Merry Go Round that we still insist on racing? After this I then convince Naomi to up the wild ride feel by going on the big wheel, which was just fine until they stopped us at the top for a few minutes. I enjoyed the view, but Naomi did not enjoy my rocking the seat. By the time we disembarked she was a light shade of green.

However this did nothing to diminish her appetite and we finished off the day with dinner and headed home. All in all a very nice Bank Holiday. Of course it could have been worse, we could have chosen another Bank Holiday tradition of DIY. No wait… Dad’s coming around tomorrow and we’re boarding out the attic.

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