One year older, hopefully a little wiser, though probably not.

...

15 years ago I made the mistake of staying in on a saturday evening and discovered the only thing on telly was the Eurovision Song Contest, live from Ireland.

Somewhere in the middle of the mindnumbing songs, the political scoring and Terry Wogan's sarcastic commentary was a traditional, cultural and mystical sequence called Riverdance.

It caught my attention and my imagination. It made my pulse race and my heartbeat quicken. Quite frankly it was amazing.

15 years later and I have finally had the full experience. No video, no soundtrack, no documentary can ever compare to watching the live show. My attention and imagination were still fired up, my pulse still raced and my heartbeat still quicken, but when you feel the pounding of the steps rattling through your body and feel the music sending shivers through your spine it magnifies. Quite frankly it was fucking amazing.

And I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried.

The tickets were a birthday present from my sister. I think it was a teat for her too... she cried harder than I did.
...

Just over a year since I started at Weight Watchers.

I have been re-educated in food. Knowing all about saturated fats, and carbohydrates, and salts. Which ones are good for me, which ones are bad, how much I can eat of some things.

I severely miss being able to drink regular Coca-Cola. But have discovered a taste for Pepsi Max. At the pub I have to drink Diet Pepsi; I am only allowed two pints of this before Katie cuts me off because I apparently turn into an obnoxious drunk.

I went almost an entire year without eating a KFC, and celebrated by eating a KFC. I faired less well with McDonalds, lasting only four months, but in fairness I did go to a convention and was resorting to my regular diet.

Over the course of the year I have reached my 10% target and have collected five Silver 7's. One for every half stone I have lost, a quick tally up there and I've lost 35 pounds (2 1/2 stone). I did make it to 38 pounds but then we had Christmas.

I'm quite pleased with my progress, and have just over another stone to go in order to reach my target weight before learning how to maintain it. And I know that it's going to be the toughest part.

Now pass me a damn cookie!

...

I'm not entirely sure though. There was no tearful goodbye with Mum and Dad telling me how much they weren't going to miss my loud music blaring into the night, or the clothes that tried to escape my bedroom on a regular basis. There was no van piled high with furniture, appliances and other possessions backing out of the driveway towards pastures new. And there was certainly no 'well that was the last night I spent in my childhood bedroom'.

Instead I stopped over at the new house on Thursday night for a delivery that was arriving early on Friday morning and now it's Monday and I haven't left.

It's also not as scarily new as I thought it would be. I know this house, it's been a part of my life for all of my life. I learnt to play snooker on a modified pool table that doubled as a dining table. I turned the cupboard under the stairs into a bedroom long before a a certain lightning scarred wizard was even thought of. I used to jump through the sprinkler in the back garden when the summers used to be hot.

But there are some differences. The spare room that I never went in is now the study. The back bedroom I shared with my sister is now Dean's room. The front bedroom is now the bedroom I will one day share with Katie. And the television is bigger, but still in the same corner as it was before.

So I guess I have moved out after all.

...

 It's 2am and I can't sleep.

So it's time for some ramblings.

Dean and I were doing some work at the house this evening. We mowed the lawn, twice. Raked the grass clippings, also twice. Then sanded down the walls in what will eventually be my bedroom and pasted them ready to start with the wallpapering tomorrow. I mean later on today. Anyway, I was so exhausted when we got back to my parents place that I barely stayed up long enough to watch the results show of Dancing With The Stars before crawling into bed. And now I'm awake sitting at the computer with a blanket wrapped around me toga style after replacing the lightbulb because I can't type in the dark.

There was a lull at work today and I was wishing for a distraction. Be careful what you wish for. Just after three a handful of very drunk Australian Xena fans called me, from Australia, they were on a mobile and so was I. It was my buddies Penny and Natalie and friends. They were having a Xena get together and playing my music videos and in their enibriated state thought it was a good idea to call. It was great to hear from them, even though I'm not sure of half of what they said, Penny wanted to make sure I'm going to the convention in Burbank next year so we could catch up (I thought she said touch up at first), Natalie wants a rematch at pool because I kicked her arse last time we met in Vegas and I'm sure it was her babbling about dingoes eating her baby. Eventually realising that this phone bill would most likely be catastrophic they bid me goodbye, but not without first extracting promises from me to make some new Xena music videos... it's on my to do list. It was only a 17 minute call but it absolutely made my day.

Now I'm just randomly browsing the internet.

Went to the IMDB, there's been some rumours that Stephanie March may return to SVU, but they are just rumours, at least for the moment. Bring back Alex before we lose faith completely and realise that Butchy McFabulous Olivia Benson is actually straight!

I've been to Amazon, scary, they've had a redesign and I don't like it. It took me at least 10 seconds to locate my wishlist and that's just not good. Even worse I have to restrain myself from buying things by reminding myself that I need to save money to buy things like a new bed, and a desk, and a washing machine and a new kitchen.

Also been over to Passion and Perfection to look for some new fan fiction. I still have my Special Victims Unit phase going so I'm not in the mood for any of my other obsessions, unfortunately there's nothing new and substantial on that front.

Thankfully, for both myself and anyones f-list, Katie is working tonight and has just giving me permission to phone her. She has promised to bore me to sleep. I love my girly.

Night, night xoxo

...

Saturday, 26th April 2008

It's that time of year again when we pack two cars with people, clothes and food and head off to the South Coast. A town called Swanage, on the Isle of Purbeck in Dorset to be exact. We make this trip every year as a way to celebrate and remember my granparents who loved the area and to just be together as a family.

Just a couple of weeks before we lost another of our number when Auntie Joyce, my Nan's younger sister, died from respitory problems after suffering a heart attack. She'll be remembered in our thoughts this year also. Since my Grandfather died we had encouraged Nan to spend more time with Joyce and thus Joyce had spent more time with our family, becoming one of the gang as Nan would have called it. She was a cheeky mare who gave as good as she got and proved that many good things do come in small packages. I hope that in their final years, when both were lonely having lost their soul mates that they had some laughs and some adventures with us.

It was our usual early Saturday drive to make sure we got to Wimbourne in time for the market. We wandered around the various stalls, got some earthernware pots for the kitchen and a mole ornament for the garden (Dean named him Arthur), and then we had to get the unusual cheeses that only seem to be sold here: Cheddar Marmite and Afterburn, I intend never to try either. It's then onto Wareham for the Local Produce Market, it still puzzles me that they sell Duracell batteries, bleach and knock off sunglasses... local my arse!

Finally we arrive in Swanage at the house, our rented home for the week. We've stayed in a number of holiday homes in the town and have often passed this particular house and we were all under the impression that it was a Nursing Home. With it's full length, panoramic windows that look out over the bay we were sure it was inhabited by retired Brigaderes playing Backgammon and elderly Woman's Institute ladies making jam. But no, it is owned by a gentleman currently working in Australian and making a little money in his absense. It still looks like a nursing home but now that we've been inside it's a nursing home crossed with an Austrian ski lodge and a Spanish villa, with a green roof. And the view is amazing.

Spent the rest of the afternoon making sure everything was still where we left it. The cafe with the best cream tea, the pub with the 23 ciders, the ice cream parlour that has the best chocolate ice cream, and the shop that girls spend hours in and boys spend hours outside of propping up the wall. I don't know whether it's the early morning or the fresh air but by nine I'm ready to sleep. So I do.

Sunday, 27th April 2008

I don't know how this happens but when I'm on holiday with my parents I always end up getting up earlier than I do on a normal work day. I don't get it.

Sunday is always the day that we head to Studland Bay, where my Grandparents ashes are scattered. They never wanted us to have graves to visit. We pack some sandwiches and a flask, or should I say that Nan and Joyce used to pack sandwiches and a flask because left to Mum she forgot to pack the milk and sugar and completely forgot to bring a drink for me. Tut tut. Their ashes are scattered in the dunes, near a tree that only shows it's top most branches through the build up of sand. I gathered some stones for Grandad and some shells for Nan and placed them by a heather bush. I told them I missed them and what I was doing with the house since Dean and I have decided to move in.

Back at the house we're having some quiet time, well everyone is except Mum. Dad is reading, Naomi is reading, I'm doing a crossword and Dean is putting stickers in his sticker album. Mum has found a book about the local area and keeps piping up with all sorts of facts. We ocassionally mumble at her but largely ignore her. After a bit to eat we pack ourselves into the car to drive back to London for Joyce's funeral tomorrow. From the middle of the backseat Mum is still chattering away; Naomi has turned on her Ipod, soon after I do the same and in the front of the car Dad and Dean discreetly turn up the volume on the radio. I'd never noticed before that my Mum doesn't like silence but I'm pretty sure it's only been since Nan died that it's been this way. I always joked that when I turned 30 I would start channeling my mother, just didn't realise that in order for that to happen she would have to start channeling hers. Spooky.

Monday, 28th April 2008

Maureen arrives at the house before I'm even out of bed. It means the world to my family that she wanted to attend Joyce's funeral. Katie had wanted to be there too but had to work. A card from Kirsty and Tidds also conveys their apologies that they can't be there. Ralph will be joining us at the Crematorium. It's incredible that both my Nan and Joyce meant so much to my friends, that they were thought of and cared for.

I'd not cried for Joyce since she had died. My feelings too confused with guilt and anger and all mixed up with the grief that still lingers so closely at the mere thought of my Nan. The ceremony was in the same chapel but we sat the opposite side. I couldn't look at the coffin; my cousin Emma had placed her flower arrangement at the head of it, the word Nan was spelled out in silver letters against a pink heart pillow. Too much memory of the last time I was there took over and I sobbed. Remembering how we had listened to 'Catch A Falling Star', how Naomi had held me when I wanted to race to the coffin before they took her away from me, and how we had sang along to 'Que Sera Sera'. For Joyce the song was 'You're Beautiful', Joyce always said he was singing it to her.

Piling back into the car we head back to Swanage. With both Naomi and I listening to our Ipods Mum falls asleep within minutes. Why didn't we think of that that last night?

We had all agreed that we would eat out at the Italian that night. We'd never been before, not sure Nan or Joyce would find something on the menu, we certainly did. Sod the diet, I had chicken and pancetta in a carbonara sauce, garlic bread and chips, and for dessert I had some of that amazing chocolate ice cream (the owner of the restaurant and the ice cream parlour are cousins).

Full up we head for home, taking a nice stroll along the darkened beach to start burning off all those calories.

Tuesday, 29th April 2008

We always have an away day. A few years ago I chose Longleat Safari Park where I fed a deer and got drawl all over my hand and in my sisters handbag. Naomi chose a trip on the steam train to Corfe Castle last year. So this year the choice was down to Dean and he chose Portsmouth Dockyard and it was a bloody good day out. They have three ships permanently on display: Warrior, Victory and Mary Rose. Warrior and Victory are pretty much museums themselves. You can roam the decks and touch guns and hammocks and plates and cannons.

Onboard Warrior you can have yourself locked in the brig, so Dean shoved me in and closed the door! It was dark, made me shudder at the thought of actually being locked in. On the lowers decks were the engine rooms, the furnaces that were stoked by the 'Walking Dead'. I had to explain that term to my sister; that the sailors who worked the furnaces were the first to be sacrificed if the ship started taking on water. The doors were sealed and the men left to die. Though it was many, many years later my Grandfather was in the Navy during WWII and he was an engine stoker. I saw the moment that my sister put it all together and it was her turn to shudder.

Victory is incredible. It is still a commissioned vessel and as such ships coming into port still have to salute this piece of history. Out on the top deck there is a plaque to show where Nelson fell in battle and where he died later below decks. I really hope that people were shorter back then because I had to bow my head on the lowest decks, Dean was practically bent double.

Mary Rose was the ship that I was most interested in before the day. Some of my earliest memories include the day that the remains of the wreck were lifted from the depths. Though my four year old mind convinced me that it was made from yellow metal I later learned that this was the cradle that held. The ship is kept in a protected environment and is sprayed with a liquid wax to protect the wood. This preservation will continue until 2011 when it will be moved to a new interactive display. We're already planning our return trip.

Wednesday, 30th April and Thursday, 1st May 2008

The last couple of days were spent just chilling for Dean and I. Whilst Mum, Dad and Naomi had to see agents about the house they're planning to buy down there we went to the arcades and played the Bingo machines, we went to the pub and played the quiz machine, we went to the cafe and had cream tea and sandwiches and we went to the beack to scavenge for rocks. Okay I went to the beach to scavenge for rocks, while Dean ridiculed me from the Broadwalk, I'm still not entirely sure what I plan to do with all those rocks... I'm sure I'll think of something.

...

My lungs are clear. Unfortunately all the coughing has left its toll and something in my ribs hurts. If I cough, sneeze or breathe it hurts. If I turn over in bed, or god forbid, try to sleep it hurts.

So it was back to the doctors to be poked and proded, sent to hospital for the threatened chest x-rays and recommended to take painkillers until it stops hurting while I wait for the results of the chest x-rays. Joy. 

...

Finally conceded that the wheezing and rattling in my chest needed a professional opinion.

The Practice Nurse listened to my lungs and pronounced them clear but decided to prescribe some antibiotics to be on the safe side. However if the coughing persists I have to go back for chest x-rays and blood work.

Now that doesn't sound scary.  

On a happier note it means I get to watch 30 Rock while I'm off work. I've had the series since January and only just getting around to it. Tina Fey rocks and Stephanie March guest stars as a lesbian. WHOO HOO!

...

It appears that MASQUE 3.0 is not without it's teething problems.

CPU is not functioning correctly and the hardware is prone to malfunction.

Translation:

A week after my birthday I got what I thought was a cold. Itchy ears and sore throat gave way to sneezing and runny nose, general all round crappiness. But as we hit the easter weekend I managed one day of stripping wallpaper in the spare room before being consigned to the couch with lots of layers, coughing fits and an elevated level of crappiness.

Resolution:

There will be a patch available for download shortly.

...

Being as I wasn't fond of the idea of turning 30 I left it until the last minute to arrange any kind of festivities to mark the occasion. Ultimately I invited a few friends and family, had some food, played some music and just chatted. The perfect type of party for me.

I finally decided that it was time to introduce some of the members of the London Xena Meetup Group to my family. They are a huge and important part of my life and I think my family were ready for them. So Lara, Jane, Lou, Huma, Debs and Alex joined the party along with the usual suspects of Katie, Dean, Maureen and Ravurian and the rest of my family.

Ravurian decided to get me a 60th card and tear it in half... I love you too Bro. Lara and Jane got me some book tokens and 'Aslan' a toy lion that means I can adopt a real one. When I was 8 I wrote in to Jim'll Fix It because I wanted to adopt a lion. 22 years later Lara and Jane fixed it for me... ROAR. Debs and Alex presented me with the complete boxset of adult Harry Potter books. The box had to be pried out of my hands so that I could blow out the candles on my birthday cake... I love my books.

For some reason, that escapes me now, Dean thought it would be a great idea to have modelling balloons at the party so I picked up a pack. When we eventually managed to get the things blown up the results were varied; Alex made an orange long necked, lop sided dog, Lou managed a green bee, Katie followed the instructions and made a purple dinosaur and I inflated a dark green balloon, stuck a pair of eyes on it and called it a snake. Modelling balloons... who said 30 was grown up?

When Katie and I found ourselves the only ones left the Wii was opened and we finally got to bed some time after 5am.

30 is not so bad after all.

...

Well it's here. The day that I've been dreading for the last three years... My 30th Birthday.

And now it's here, it's not so bad.

My agonising over turning 30 is based firmly in the 'what exactly have I done with my life' category. I still live with my parents, with a joke of a job and no real idea of what I want to do with myself for the time that I have left on this planet. If being a professional dreamer was a career opportunity then to date I would have 2 television series, 2 mini series, 1 movie, a merchandise empire, 3 Baftas, 2 Golden Globes and an Emmy on my mantelpiece and would have appeared on Mtv Cribs, twice. (My London mansion and Los Angeles villa.) Alas reality is much more real and I'm the only person who can change what I've got. So I'm working on it, I have some tentative plans, some ideas and the realisation that I have to get out of the place I have worked for since university and known all my life. Time to cast aside the safety net.

But back to today. My girl is with me, on my actual birthday and she took me out for dinner. My diet is either forgotten for the evening or birthday calories don't count, especially when there is crispy coated mushrooms and lemon and herb chicken to be had. I'll only turn 30 once and shouldn't have to suffer the whole day.

Although a milesone birthday should be marked with a appropriate present, according to my parents, they had no clue what to buy me. I'm not a girly girl and so jewelery and clothes don't excite me. Nor do ornaments, pottery and plates like it does my sister. But they found the perfect gift: A Nintendo Wii, with extra controller and sports package. WHOO YEAH. It seemed that I had dropped enough hints.

It may well have been late by this time but we decided to do the shopping for my party. You should have seen the look on my sisters face when she saw the chocolate cake I was planning on buying. It would seem that the diet is forgotten for the whole weekend.

So Happy Birthday to me.

...

Thursday 24th January

As usual I'm excited about going on holiday but this year not only is Katie joining me for the trip but I had to book the flights - both International and internal, make reservations at two hotels, arrange insurance and order convention tickets and I did it all by myself - for the most part. I'm so proud. I'm also terrified that I've done something wrong. That I'll get to the airport and the confirmation will have gone missing. That at the hotel I will have booked the wrong week and that if something goes wrong I won't have ticked the right box on the insurance application to cover it. Oh well it'll be an adventure.

To avoid an extremely early morning, traffic jams and public transport Maureen, Katie and myself booked into a hotel close to the airport. Might as well start the holiday relaxed. However, being that whenever I go on holiday the inner child comes out to play and I'm far to excited to sleep and by the time that we get to the airport, check in and go through to the departure lounge I'm falling asleep in my breakfast.

At the gate I'm in the middle of a work related phonecall when I get called back to the security desk. I'm pretty sure that I don't have anything in my suitcase or carry on that will necessitate the rubber glove treatment but I still clench all the same. They ask if Katie and I would mind moving seats. It's not quite the upgrade I would have liked but apparently we get served dinner sooner, not sure that's actually any better than getting it cold at the back of the plane. Onboard and taxiing to the runway maureen decides to point out the two huge gourges  in the grass where the British Airways flight crashed last week. Katie's face pales and her knuckles turn white as she grips my hand more tightly - it's been a few years since she's flown.

After a pretty uneventful flight I'm looking forward to the taxi ride out to the hotel so I can spot all those landmarks that let me know I'm in Los Angeles. I just about manage to point out the Hollywood sign through the haze to Katie before the driver pulls off the freeway to take the back roads avoiding rush hour. So this is the side of LA that they don't show you in the movies, Katie was fascinated, I was annoyed it was raining.

We arrive at the Burbank Marriott and immediately fall in love with our room. Mostly with the bed, the big bed, the big kingsive bed. I just about resisted bouncing on it. By this point we've been awake for almost 18 hours, we've crossed two continents and 8 time zones, but we can't sleep yet so it's down to the bar to see who else is in town. Slowly the usual suspects start to arrive, some from work and some from showing their support at the Writers Strike. Leigh, Mary, Nora, Sandy, Laurie, Laura, Sarah and Pam. There's much catching up over drinks and bar snacks but by 9.30 (that's 5.30 am tomorrow) we're ready for that giant bed upstairs. 

Friday 25th January

I was very surprised I didn't wake up at 1.30 am. I usually do on the first night and then gain a couple of hours each night and start sleeping through the night just in time to come home.

First thing I do is put on the TV and introduce Katie to my favourite breakfast news show in the world, ever: KTLA Morning News. The presenters bop away to the music at the advert breaks, the weather man walks away from his broadcasts before he's even finished and the traffic reporter sits in a helicopter which I have never seen leave the helipad. One morning I watched transfixed as they filmed the forming of a puddle in what they called a dowpour and what I called a slight drizzle when I stuck my head out of the hotel room door. Another year during a cold spell they had frequent reminders on safely using the infrequently used space heaters (flat surface, dust free, away from children). But he lure of crispy bacon at the buffet breakfast was just too much for me so I dragged myself away from the little animated red, yellow and green blocks of the traffic jam update and head down to the restaurant for food.

When the doors to the convention finally open a few hours later I waste no time in parting with $200 on Fan Club DVDs, Convention DVDs, Coffee Talk DVDs, and the artwork calendar. I wanted both the artwork and the original design calendars but they were sold out of the original design... I'm still pissed off about that. Next we wander into the auditorium to get some seats for the Adrienne Wilkinson Q&A. I haven't been to one of her talks for a few years, but as this is katie's first convention I decided I should take the risk and see if she's done anything new since the last time I saw her. And she has. She's done some short films that have been doing the rounds of the festival circuit and she's been involved with the next big Star Wars game. And by involved, I mean really involved, she's not just voicing the character, she's posed and moved and even had pictures taken of the inside of her mouth to get as much detail as possible into the graphics.  She seems to be enjoying life because everything from her dog to oral photographs in 'Fucking hilarious'.

Back to the hotel bar and I am greeted by 'Hey Geek' to which I respond 'Hey Nerd'. My girl Amy has arrived from Texas. Okay so she's not really 'my girl' but I adore her anyway. I met her back in 2003 and was immediately besotted with her. She was happily loved up with her girlfriend and constantly slipping out to call her and I think that just made her all the more attractive. I met her again in 2005 and rather than be all coy about it I outright told her I had a crush on her. With that out of the way we actually got on really well and developed our Geek/Nerd relationship (I'm an obsessed fan girl and she's a computer whizz).

This year I get to introduce my girlfriend to her and after only an hour Katie tells me that it's okay for me to have a crush on her. Fucking hilarious!

After catching up with Amy for a couple of hours we headed back into the convention for Katherine Fugate's talk. You can't miss The Fugate, she wrote the best fucking episode of the series. Just the one, but the best fucking one. (My reasoning for this: In a nutshell, the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle was developed over a six year series, Fugate had 42 minutes to not only rebuild that relationship but make the audience believe in it. She suceeded.) Katherine talked about motherhood and how it's changed her, she talked about the Writers Strike and how that is affecting her new series 'Army Wives' but assured us that it would be back when all issues were resolved. She then sweetened the deal by alluding to the fact that she is trying to get Renee into a 4 or 5 episode arc where she will be playing a character we might like to have seen her play in Xena. Big grin. I may have to start watching this show.

Most people head off to The Roxy for Lucy's concert leaving the hotel bar largely deserted. We hang out for a bit with those not attending the concert, but still suffering tflight fatigue we soon head off to bed. It's another big day tomorrow. 

Saturday 26th January

Breakfast today was a trip out with Debs, Dani, Lara, Jane, Sue and a couple of people I've never met before to the local IHOP. Katie has never had American style pancakes and so I sacrificed my traditional buffet for basically the exact same meal but had it served to me by a lovely waitress who seemed to know Debs and Co by sight. Dani and I have to be seated at opposite ends of the table after she decided to order something with cinnamon in it and I decided I wanted to carry on breathing.

We rushed through breakfast to make it back for the Q&A with David Taylor, he played Xena's son Solan. He's sweet and charming and he's not acting at the moment because he's in that transitional stage between being a child actor and being an adult actor but still looking very young. So in the meantime he works in industrial paper products and and is enjoying being happily married. He was completely overwhelmed by the lasting popularity of the show, and probably just a little bit scared of all of us sitting there staring at him.

A quick break and then it's the big event: Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor. No singing or dancing or giant cakes involved this year, just our two favourite ladies answering questions and telling stories about their lives post Xena. I will always love watching these two together on stage. Though they no longer work together and have their own lives there's still this amazing chemistry and an undeniable sparkage when they work a stage together.

The questions were a bit disappointing this year, but if I'm not going to have the courage to get up and ask a question myself I'm certainly not going to bitch about those that do. So they talked about their current projects, their children, their lives and they may have even mentioned Xena once or twice.

After this we headed back to the bar to pry Amy away from the big screen, she's not actually here to attend the convention, so she spends all day watching American football. And whilst most people scuttle off to the second Lucy concert Amy introduces Katie to mojitos and we settle in for an evening of drinking and chatting. We had the sweetest waitress who tried to convince us to go clubbing, but when we told her that we only see each other once a year she brought us another round of drinks, and another, and another.

I crawled into bed at what I am informed by girlfriend to be very late, or very early, neither of us were sure which. I do however remember being thrown out of the bar.

Sunday 27th January

Everyone from the Xena Meet had to be up bright and early for a photo op with Renee O'Connor. We donned our Xenathon tee-shirts and headed down to the line and it wasn't until we got to the front of the queue that we realised we were one person short. Maureen was missing. So while we wait for her to arrive, after several frantic phonecalls and text messages, I decide to stick my head around the door to catch a glimpse of Renee. FUCK ME! She was wearing her dancing costume from 'Who' Gurkhan?', which could generously be described as underwear with some gold braiding, and boy does she look good. My little outburst makes its way along the line Chinese Whisper style, who knows what they thought she was wearing by the time it got to the back.

Anyway, Maureen finally arrives and we are ushered into the room. Lara explains to Renee who our group is and what we have done and where we are sending the money that we have raised. We set ourselves for the photograph and just before the click everyone realises that Katie is on the far right and I'm on the far left. There's some talk of rectifying the situation and I stiffle my initial response and smile for the camera. ('I always knew that the only thing that would come between Katie and I would be Renee O'Connor.' Yeah, I'm glad I didn't say it out loud as well.)

Whilst others settle themselves in for the days events Debs, Dani, Sue, Katie and myself elect to drive back over to IHOP for breakfast and once again Dani and I are seperated for my health as she orders another cinamon watsit. It's a more relaxed breakfast as we don't have to rush back to the convention. So over a leisurely breakfast I discover that my upper limit for crispy bacon is six rashers... it was the salt that did me in.

We're back at the convention in time for Brittany Powell's appearance. I missed her on stage last year, I heard she was pretty sassy and was determined not to miss her this year, if only to watch her auction her bra for charity again. She was a hoot. She got her son Tyson up on the stage to meet everyone. He stayed for the entire talk including the bra auction which he finished with 'Going once. Going twice. Sold.' The auction itself was mental; there were two people that just wouldn't give up. When it got to $5000 Brittany attempted to call a halt to the proceedings by offering first place the bra she was wearing and returning home to get another for second place.

After that Katie and I decided we simply had to go through to the autograph queue and meet her. When she discovered we were English she told us to tell Adam to bring her to England for the convention in May. Yes Ma'am!

Next on the stage was Zoe Bell, stunt double to Lucy Lawless in Xena, stunt double to Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, and adopted little sister and drinking buddy to Quintan Tarantino. She already had the cool factor in my eyes. As a Kiwi being mad is a given but this girl is a force of nature. Her stories are incredible and her delivery is hilarious (fucking hilarious). From how she was offered the Xena gig whilst drunk, to not wanting to know if she'd broken her back whilst working on the show, to damaging her hand pretty badly on Kill Bill, to falling down a ditch whilst out with Quintan. She has so much energy and enthusiasm for what she is doing that you can't help loving her; I can see why Penstarr and WarriorReborn are so inspired and devoted to her. So we got her autograph too.

Q&As finished, autographs finished, merchandise hall closed and it's all over for another year. Without a Lucy performance it's going to be pretty packed in the hotel bar tonight. So by use of stealth, speed and elbows I manage to get to the coffee table and easy chairs before anyone else and secure it for our group. And as with all last nights it's filled with email address swapping, stupid photographs and everyone staying up to the last possible minute. I'm so glad that we have the London convention to look forward to. It may not be Los Angeles, but it also won't take 12 hours to get to.

...

I've joined Weight Watchers.

Enough with talking, time to do it.

I just wish Naomi had informed me of this new development before I'd bought 4 litres of full fat coke and a large bag of Cadbury's Mini Eggs!

I'm not even gonna tell you how much I weigh, but I will tell you that I'm gonna attempt to lose almost 4 stone.

...

I recently had to change banks. I joined the Woolwich when I was 7 years old, when they had a funny kids account that attempted to make saving money more enjoyable... whatever. Anyway I was very happy with the Woolwich, I knew the desk staff at the local branch, they had a really cool HQ building that from a distance I would tell new friends was where I lived and when my account got hacked earlier this year and over £300 was taken they re-imbursed me and got right on with the investigation.

But in July they were taken over by Barclays, I don't like Barclays and I'm not totally sure why. I vaguely remember when I was 11 years old that my parents had a problem with a credit card limit and that it got a bit testy so I'm guessing this is possibly the origins of my hostility. As soon as the anouncement of the take over was made my mother closed her account with them and moved to another bank; when the takeover went into affect my sister withdrew all her money and did the same; but I figured most banks were pretty much alike and stayed where I was.

I am a muppet and my name is Masque (I hope I have blue fur).

I assumed that my Woolwich account would be substituted with the equivalent Barclays account, but oh how wrong I was. I received my new card from my new bank and it might as well be a library card for all the good it does. I knew something was amiss from the first moment I laid my eyes on this unremarkable piece of light blue plastic: there was no chip, meaning that all store purchases were out the window. On closer examination I discovered that this was not a debit card either, thus rendering all my online shopping accounts and standing orders useless - a couple of which got suspended. In short the only thing I could do with the damn thing was get money out of a cash machine, and when that went squiffy I decided enough was enough.

I went into town and picked a new bank. I now have a bank account that allows telephone and internet banking, a very pretty card that is accepted everywhere and has the glorious chip imbedded in it and today my brand new cheque book arrived. I've never had a cheque book before and I have no idea what I'm ever going to use it for but I just feel better knowing that I have one.

...

I have a few things on my to do list.

1. New house.
Generally I think this is supposed to be last on the list but I always do everything arse about face, I can't help it, it's the way I was born.

2. New degree.
I do have an old one, I know it's here somewhere but like most things if you don't use it regularly it stops working.

3. New career.
Technically it would be my first career seeing as my toe hold in the legal archiving industry has afforded me three different offices... in the same basement.

Oh and somewhere in there I need to turn 30. My family and friends assure me this is not allowed to go by without being acknowledged... Fine... but the following year I start counting backwards!

...

I'm back at work after a week long holiday and already I want to resign.